Feb. 14th, 2009 05:35 pm
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I can understand playing cards with pin up girls on them.


But a girl in a bikini holding a poison bottle, throwing up the horns at some sort of waterfowl?

What. The. Fuck.
sea_gale: (Default)
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I don't think [Bad username or site: @] will ever forgive me for telling him that Hedwig died.
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"It's like being at an orgy: the hands are just for stroking their hair. You have to use the other half!"
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I've been intending to post this for some time. Questionable Content readers will know for exactly how long. So, finally, here it is: the horror that is Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.

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The worst bit of all is at about 3:30.
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I've been making sourdough bread quite a lot lately. It tastes better than shop bread, it's cheaper, and it's an incredibly satisfying activity. Also, it fills the culture food making hole in my life made by my leaving my tempeh starter behind in Glasgow. Basically, instead of using dried yeast as leaven, live, cultured yeast is used instead. The yeast in question is plain old Saccaromyces cerevisiae in my case, but other strains can be used too. If you're brave, the old fashioned method is to leave a flour and water mixture uncovered until it foams and smells sour, but it seems like rather a leap of faith to expect to aquire benevolent yeast from an environment containing two active and germy humans. So, for now, I'm using starter sired by some Tesco quick-rise yeast I had lying around, and against the internets' experience, it seems to be working.

I found the recipe in The Complete Tightwad Gazette, an astonishing 1000 page slab of money saving tips and anthropological insight into American culture in the 80s and 90s. It seemed pretty simple, so I had a shot. I liked the denseness and the lack of overpowering yeast taste which I disliked about other homemade breads I'd made before.

A note before I give you the recipe: all the measurements are in American cups. I'm used to this, as I find measuring by volume to be less expensive and fussy than weighing things (a measuring cup can be bought for under a pound, a decent scale costs at least fifteen), and it's trivial to convert from volume to weight. Here's a chart giving densities of some common foodstuffs, as well as a calculator. Another method I use is to count the number of cups in a standard pack.

First, starter. Mix two cups of chlorine free water (buy mineral water, or let some tap water sit uncovered for two days), two cups of flour (don't use "strong bread flour"; this is expensive and creates gluten strands which are irritating when you're pouring the stuff out the jar) and a tablespoon of yeast. Loosely cover this and leave it at room temperature for a day or two, until it foams and has a nice, sour smell. Whenever you remove starter for bread, replace one and a half cups of water, and the same volume of flour.

As I cleaned up after my starter when it merrily reproduced its way out of its jar, fed it flour and water from a spoon, anxiously smelled it whenever I opened the fridge, and agonised over pouring the first batch down the sink when I left it out and it started smelling funny, I began to think of it as a little pet. Of course, I do tend to recklessly anthropomorphise things.

Making the bread is pretty easy, though it does involve long waits. Mix five and a half cups of flour (I use a mixture of stoneground wholemeal and Lidl's own plain white), two cups of starter, a cup of water and a tablespoon of salt. When it's more or less all together, lift it onto a floured surface and start kneading. I fold the dough in half, squash it down with the heels of my hands, and repeat until my hands are red and I have a sense of righteousness. Then plonk the dough back in the bowl, cover it with a damp cloth, and leave it to rise overnight. In the morning, knead the dough again, cut it in half and put it in two greased, floured loaf tins. Leave to rise for four hours. Then bake for half an hour in a 180°C oven which also has a pan of water in it.

Don't wait for it to cool: slice off a piece right away, put some marg and your preferred spread on it, and eat it. Yummeh.
sea_gale: (Default)
This song was recorded by Queen during the Miracle sessions, but never ended up on the album:

My question: if they were writing and recording songs that awesome at the time, why is the rest of the album so gash?
sea_gale: (amusing)
Turns out all that stress was for naught. I got a 2:1 :D

In other news, I now have a Facebook. Laaaaaame :(
sea_gale: (Default)
*Light in the kitchen goes on*

[ profile] pozorvlak (who was sitting slightly out of reach of the light switch): I think that's the first time I've used the carving knife since we moved in.
sea_gale: (Default)
Don't not do things just because your boyfriend says that they will explode.

Note: if you do use that recipe, be aware that I let out the excess gas a few hours after I made it, and only let it brew overnight as opposed to 24 hours
sea_gale: (Default)

Marginally less irritating than TLA fucking P day, though.
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Me: It says here that in Scotland, if you've lived together for more than 21 days, you're common law married.


Flatmate: That means that we're common law married to Alex! There was so a divorce...

*more reading of Wikipedia*

Me: Ah, no, that was abolished in 2006. That means that it was annuled.
sea_gale: (pissed off!)
To the left of me, two stations down, is a man. He is surrounded by biographies of Margaret Thatcher. One of them is open, draped over his lap, as though he is trying to hide something.


May. 10th, 2007 11:06 pm
sea_gale: (amusing)
Perhaps you've heard the old meme that a meat eater should, at some point kill and prepare an animal to eat from scratch. In the same way, I think that all veg*ans should make their own tofu. Here are the instructions, for anyone, meaty or veggie, who's interested:

4.00pm: Think vaguely about making some tofu. Put a bag of soy beans on to soak.
1.00am: Get bored. Decide to make tofu.
1.05: Drain beans, rinse and put on a plate. Put some in a blender and fill blender with water.
1.05.30: Realise that the vessel of the blender wasn't secured, so 2 litres of water has leaked all over the floor. Scream so as to cause boyfriend to come through and see what is the matter.
1.06: Mop up water. Secure blender and try again.
1.15: Malevolantly think about the twats upstairs and their noisy home improvements.
1.16: Decide soy beans are blended enough. Strain resulting soy milk though a sieve lined with a clean cloth.
1.20: Once the milk has been strained into a saucepan, you are left with soy bean pulp, known as okara. This can be made into all sorts of tasty dishes. Consider saving and making into tasty dishes. Scrape okara into bin.
1.25: Gaze at remaining mound of soy beans.
1.25: Repeat process until saucepan is full.
1.40: Remove gin from freezer so as to fit in left over soy beans.
1.21: Bring soy milk to boil.
1.27: Whip soy milk off heat before it boils over everywhere (You can see I'm not new to this game).
1.31: Decide soy milk is cooked enough. Squeeze lemon into shot glass.
1.33: Pour lemon juice into saucepan through sieve. Stir gently. The milk will separate into curds and whey. The curds obviously form the tofu; the whey can be used as stock for making soups, cooking rice, and so on. Consider saving and using as stock. Pour whey down sink.
1.35: Collect curds into sieve lined with clean cloth (i.e. not the one covered in okara bits). Squeeze out remaining whey. Ouch, that's hot. Hold gin against tofu to cool it down.
1.40: Stare at small patty of tofu.

Next, cut the tofu into cubes and put it in a jar with some soy sauce, some toasted sesame oil, a chopped clove of garlic and some ginger. Best tofu marinade in the world 100% FACT.

1.50: Time for bed. Have tofu for lunch tomorrow.
sea_gale: (amusing)
Maggie Krahling asks:
My neighbour is shovelling dog faeces into my hedge. The hedge now looks weak & thin. My tree trimmer said my hackberry tree is dying. This tree is also exposed to the faeces. What to I have to do to decontaminate the area, after my neighbour removes the faeces?

Reg answers:
Once the dog muck has been removed the area will need to be thoroughly disinfected, but after that things should be OK again.

This is... maybe it's because I've been up with a tummy ache for the last couple of hours but... there's just so much to take in.
My neighbour is shovelling dog faeces into my hedge.

What now? This minute? This calls up an image of Maggie Krahling looking sadly into her garden as she carefully types her email. The windows are firmly closed. She can see her neighbour, laughing wildly, next to a huge heap of dog shite. The neighbour shovels and shovels the shite, oblivious to the stink. Maggie sighs. She doesn't know why her once considerate and friendly neighbour has taken to this behaviour. Only Reg can help now.
My tree trimmer said my hackberry tree is dying.

I feel like I've stumbled into a Chekov play. Interestingly, the hackberry is quite closely related to the cherry.
However, the fugue reaches a resolution:
Once the dog muck has been removed the area will need to be thoroughly disinfected, but after that things should be OK again.

Observe the rough peasant touch implied by the use of the word "muck". Also observe that he doesn't actually answer her question. She knew the area would have to be decontaminated, she was asking how. Maggie breathes out slowly, and orders her slave, dressed today in high heels, a thong and frilly apron, over to rub her feet. The yells of her next door neighbour seep through the walls.
sea_gale: (pissed off!)
My green family seems to be expanding rapidly. I have a Madagascar Dragon Tree, an asplenium, a fern, a straggly baby spider plant, a friendship plant, and three pots of bulbs that are dying back.

I'd like to go to a garden centre to buy compost and pots and things, but they're all out in the boonies. The nearest one is on the Crow Road!!


Jan. 26th, 2007 01:01 pm
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I was in a Neuroanatomy lab this morning. About two thirds of the way through, I noticed a couple of my class mates pointing and laughing at something. I looked under the desk... and guess what I saw? Clue: perhaps the last thing you'd expect or want to see in such a setting.

No, it wasn't a severed hand.

Nor a kitten.

It wasn't that either.

Want to know what it was?


OK, it wasn't actually used, it was out of the packet and half unrolled. What happened?! Were two people about to do sex in the lab and suddenly one of them cried "I can't go through with it!"? They were about to do it at the opposite end of the room and it pinged off?? Someone just put it there for shits and giggles???
sea_gale: (Default)

I've had this stuck in my head for the past few days.

Beats the Protect and Survive jingle I suppose.


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